A Kingdom For a Princess
by KingdomOfThomond
Summary: Princess Celestia, as Twilight Sparkle does not have a kingdom of her own to rule, arranges for her to pay a visit to the Myrynion Tsardom, which is ruled by a pony who can find somewhere for Twilight to rule. However, things are afoot, causing Twilight to leave the Tsardom somewhat prematurely. Rating may change.
1. A Trip to Myrynion

**A/N** I've had the idea for Myrynion and her inhabitants, as well as a few other things, for a while, so there may be slight inconsistencies as regards naming. Enjoy!

* * *

The once noble city of Wipers was in ruins. Urban warfare had reached its peak, as major scuffles broke out when the defenders met the attackers. The Tsardom's Landships were outperforming themselves, but were slowly losing. The flamethrower Landships, those in division F, were displaying their true, horrific value, with arcing lines of fire, incinerating anything they touched.

Sergeant Jack Linford and his squad, of the First Kangaroo Division, or the Tsar's private army, were attempting to hold the line, but knew they were fighting a losing battle. The sergeant was busy blasting at the invaders with his custom-built Stoke-Vickers heavy machine gun, until he noticed the Tsar and his manservant nearby.

"Protect the Tsar!" yelled Sergeant Linford.

The squad fell back, and provided cover for the Tsar.

"It's been fantastic knowing you all, but this war ends here." stated the Tsar.

Those around him knew what this meant. The Tsar began to perform a terrible spell, known only to himself, and destroyed the entire planet. He was just about to perish, when Sergeant Linford woke up, sweating profusely. It was just a dream.

* * *

"And that concludes my flying visit. Is there anything else, Celestia?" asked the Tsar, who was walking down the mane hall of Canterlot Castle with Princess Celestia.

The Tsar was a massive stallion, and much larger than Celestia. His coat was an intense reddish brown, and his mane was a mixture of light brown and green, and neatly combed. His tail was a different matter, as, although it was the same colour as his mane, his tail was a mess. On his flank were two cutie marks; one a magnificent oak, the other a skull and crossbones.

"Yes, there is, Orpheus." replied Celestia, looking up at the Tsar.

"And what would that be?"

"Princess Twilight Sparkle doesn't have a kingdom or some other place of her own to rule."

"And you want me to pull a few strings, as it were?"

"It would be appreciated."

"I will. And until next time, goodbye."

With that, Orpheus left in a blinding flash of light.

* * *

The following day, it was bright and sunny in Ponyville, where Spike and Twilight Sparkle were enjoying a day off. Spike had just given a cup of a cup of Twilight's favourite tea to her, when he belched, sending a scroll into Twilight's face. Spike opened it, making the comment that the handwriting was not Celestia's.

_Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,_

_I would like to speak to you in pony, rather than through letters. Please get on D18 when it arrives. Also, on Princess Celestia's recommendation you might want to pack for a few days, and notify anypony whom it concerns that you will not be around._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Tsar Orpheus_

"Who's Orpheus?" asked Spike.

"I don't know much about him, but I do know that he rules over the Myrynion Tsardom to the south. He claims to be the oldest living thing on the planet, and a rare species of ponies, the Hercules. Also, he reportedly has two cutie marks, one displaying his control of the Tsardom, and the other that he can destroy the world." replied Twilight.

"And what is D18?"

"And that is something I don't know. We'll probably find out when it gets here."

Spike went to pack a few things for Twilight, while the alicorn cleared what little she had on her schedule, which was mainly reading, with the minor meeting with Rarity over a dress, both of which could wait until she got back, and then went to help Spike.

A few hours later, the residents of Ponyville were stunned when they saw D18. It was an enormous, rhomboid-shaped vehicle, with two rather large and very powerful looking machine guns at the front of two side sponsons, and six other machine guns elsewhere, four of which were on the roof. Tracks propelled it forward, and a good many of the Ponyville residents ran from it as the war machine surged towards them. "HMLS Villers-Bretonneux' was written on the side in white paint, underneath a similar coloured D18. It stopped outside the library, and a stallion got out to collect Twilight Sparkle.

* * *

D18 was moving away from Ponyville at a modest 40 miles an hour.

"And this is D18, or HMLS Villers-Bretonneux, as we call her. She's a female Landship, thanks to the machine guns in the sponsons being the main armament. And she's your ride to the Tsardom." stated the commander.

"Do you know what the Tsar wants to talk to me about?" asked Twilight.

"So he wants to talk to you, eh? Make the most of it."

"And why did he send this Landship?"

"He takes your security very seriously. Magic is too unreliable to use thanks to the mountain range between Equestria and Myrynion, flying with wings would take too long and be too tiring, and no other vehicle doesn't have the protection that a Landship provides."

Spike was looking out a gun-slit, watching the scenery outside flashed by.

"Are all Landships like this one?" asked Spike.

"No. With the exception of those in the F and S divisions, Landships are divided into two categories. As it was said earlier, females have machine guns as the main armament, which are used to combat infantry. Males have two cannons replacing the machine guns in the sponsons, and take out fortifications. Those in S division are the supply Landships, and, as such, have no weaponry, while those in F division have flamethrowers, which are an absolutely horrendous weapon, used to clear out fortifications. Landships in T division are used for training, and have thinner armour and a less powerful engine." replied the driver.

"What he just said." stated the commander.

* * *

They arrived in Wipers, the Tsardom's capital, about seven hours later. The city had a lot of trees growing in it, the some in large open parks, others lining the streets. The houses were made of stone, elegantly and beautifully engraved, with inspiration from Art Nouveau. Large industrial factories were belching out large plumes of deep black smoke from smokestacks, while smaller factories released small amounts of steam from cooling towers. Large pipes entered and exited the factories in the most efficient and effective places. Trams, as well as Underground trains, were running around the city, both of which were a cross between Steam Punk and Clock Punk.

Twilight and Spike were greeted by a kangaroo when they got out of HMLS Villers-Bretonneux. He was in a black, short-sleeved shirt with the buttons undone, baggy oversized shorts, and a brown, wide-brimmed hat.

"You must be Princess Twilight Sparkle. Come with me." stated the kangaroo.

"Who are you?" asked Twilight.

"Ozzy Oz, the Tsar's manservant. Now come."

Ozzy led them through the outskirts of Wipers, bouncing along beside them in a manner that reminded Twilight and Spike of Pinkie Pie, until they reached a reasonably sized house, which looked like most of the other beautiful houses in Wipers, even down to the amount of ivy and other plants on the rather grand front of the house, and the well-kept garden.

"The Tsar's inside. Be respectful, 'n' don't anger him. He could beat Discord to a pulp, 'n' walk away with a broken leg 'n' a couple of fractured ribs. Which, incidentally, he did in the year before Celestia 'n' Luna turned discord into stone with the elements of harmony. said Ozzy.

The trio entered, with Ozzy fetching Orpheus immediately afterwards. Upon Orpheus' arrival, Twilight's knowledge of him was confirmed, and even more added. Orpheus looked down upon Twilight, instantly giving her a feeling of inferiority.

"Has Celestia told you why you're here? I apologise for the brief letter, as I take precautions over long distance, and the mountain range between here and Equestria is a nuisance, and that letter might not have been delivered directly to you." stated Orpheus.

"Celestia hasn't told me why I'm here." replied Twilight.

"Ah. To simplify, she asked me to obtain a place for you to rule over, as you don't have one already. There are some small, coastal islands near Equestria that I am regent over, and, quite frankly, you are the ideal replacement leader."

"But I have no idea how to rule. I don't even know how good I'll be. What would I do?"

"I've got three books that deal roughly with that area: The Princess, The Art Of Fighting, and The Wealth Of Countries. They should be of some value, although true understanding comes not from reading books, but though your own experiences."

"So this is why I spent seven hours coming here? To hear you say a few words?" questioned Twilight, getting mildly annoyed

Orpheus flared up his magic, three tiers of three light brown orbs lazily orbiting his light brown horn, and calmed Twilight down.

"No. That is just a part of why you are here. Princess Celestia has asked me to accommodate you in the Tsardom for a few days. A holiday, as, I am assured, that you need one after what you've been doing."

"What I do is my business." stated Twilight, huffily.

"Sure, Twilight, but you need a break. I'm concerned for you." put in Spike.

"Alright. I'll have a break."

"Good. I've arranged accommodation for you. You'll be in the house of one of the few creatures on this planet that I trust. You'll be living next to the library." Orpheus said.

Oz beckoned Twilight and Spike to follow him again, for the second time that day. After bouncing a few times down the street, Oz commentated on the "little incident" that had happened.

"Y'know, if you'd been somepony else, Orpheus might have reacted slightly more aggressively back there when you got annoyed."

"Define 'slightly more aggressively'." commanded Twilight.

"Where you get shoved against a wall, with Orpheus strangle-holding you there while he gives you a dressing down. Not a nice possie to be in, I'm told. You got off lightly, prob'ly because you're a princess, 'n' a favourite of Princess Celestia. "

"Oh."

Spike decided to move the conversation elsewhere.

"What's with the floating orbs around his horn?"

"You notice that as well, eh? It's part of Herculean magic. At the relaxed pace that they were moving, as well as the lack of noise, indicates he was using a small amount of his power." replied Oz.

"Small amount?"

"When accompanied by a low hum 'n' the orbs are moving at a reasonable pace, he's using between a quarter 'n' a half of his power. If there is a wailing sound, like that of an air-raid siren, 'n' the orbs are moving at a brisk pace, he's using between half 'n' three quarters of his power. "

"And what if he uses more?"

"I dunno. Never been done before. But _every living being on the planet_ will probably know about it when it happens. Just like when a Herculean passes on – that's a heap of magic being released."

"I've heard that Herculean magic doesn't perish with the wielder. Is it true?" asked Twilight.

"As far as I know, yes. According to Orpheus, the magic of a deceased Herculean is split between those that remain alive, so the skills 'n' knowledge of that Herculean can be passed onto their successor. Not even alicorn magic can do that." replied Oz.

The trio continued until they reached the house next to the library. Like the rest of the houses on the street, the front, although covered in the rather common ivy, was magnificent. Unlike the rest though, the ivy seemed more orderly. Oz went up to the deep brown door, and knocked three times. A few moments later, another kangaroo opened the door. He was a grim looking fellow, with an eye-patch covering one eye.

"G'day Oz. These the ones Orpheus asked us to lodge?" asked the kangaroo.

"Yeah, Jack. Princess Twilight Sparkle and Spike." replied Oz.

Twilight and Spike moved closer to the door.

"And this is Sergeant Jack Linford. He pretty much runs the Tsar's private army." sated Oz, with Jack nodding his head in greeting.

"Come in, anyway, you two. You staying, Oz?" questioned Jack.

"Nah, I should be getting back to Orpheus. He might get a little bit paranoid otherwise."

Oz left, and Twilight and Spike entered Jack's house. Everything was neat and orderly, placed where it was the best for it to be. Going through the living room, Spike noticed two big trunks, labelled "Jack" and "Sheila", under a settee. Twilight posed Jack a question.

"At the door, Jack, you said 'we'. Who else were you referring to?"

"Me fiancée, Sheila, one of the engineer medics in the Tsar's private army. We're getting married next month. And you're invited." replied Jack.

"And why the eye-patch?"

"Shrapnel. I was lucky not to get killed. Much deeper and, well, I needn't go there."

Jack grinned weakly, before leading them upstairs to show them where they would be boarded. Both rooms were modest, and both were quite suitable for Twilight and Spike. Jack proceeded to take them downstairs, and showed them a bit of hospitality in the form of tea and biscuits.

"Where's Sheila?" asked Spike.

"She's collecting honey from the bees we keep." replied Jack.

"You have bees?" asked Twilight.

"Yeah. We use the honey as a sweetener, such is in drinks." answered her host.

This explained the unusual but rather pleasant taste in the tea. A few minutes later, Sheila arrived. She greeted her guests, before beckoning Jack into the kitchen, where both kangaroos conversed. Twilight and Spike remained in the living room.

A few minutes later, Jack left the house through the front door, quickly disappearing. Sheila went into the living room, and sat down.

"Jack's just gone to get some food; it's his turn to make the tea." stated Sheila, answering the unasked question of both Twilight and Spike.

"Just a question, Sheila. What's in the trunks under the settee?" asked Spike.

"Our equipment for when we are on active duty in the Tsar's private army. Guns, ammunition, tools. That sort of thing."

Sheila got up, pulled out her trunk, and opened it. Spike was mildly interested, and so he wandered over and had a look inside. After a couple of minutes, after Spike had finished looking, Sheila shut her trunk, and pushed it back under the settee.

"Of course, because of the fact that I'm a medic, it is illegal as regards international law for me to be fired upon, unless I fire first." stated Sheila.

"Then why do you have a shotgun?" asked Spike.

"If somepony starts attacking me, I need some form of self defence. All of the engineer medics do. The shotgun is the most common weapon amongst us, although some do have sub-machine guns and assault rifles. One of us has the DeWalt Auto-Nailgun, which is rather useful."

At this point, Jack returned with some groceries, and deposited them in the kitchen.

"Jack, show Spike Gertrude." said Sheila.

Jack went upstairs, before coming back down, entered the living room with a monster of a heavy machine. Despite the rather large size, the design seemed quite simple, although the appearance was deceiving. Jaws had been painted along the barrel, although the rest of the gun was black.

"She's a hundred and twenty five kilogram, belt-fed, water cooled Stoke-Vickers heavy machine gun. Gertrude's pretty accurate, and fires two hundred and fifty rounds a minute, so, as a result, she'll quite happily boil her way through two gallons of cooling water in a day, provided I've got the bullets to do it. Ammo consumption is excessive, while the recoil is catastrophic, hence the heavy duty springs in the stock." stated Jack..

Twilight looked rather disgusted at the monstrous automatic weapon held in the hooves of her host, although Spike was definitely interested in the weapon. However, Spike decided that the best place was to be nowhere near the gun, although he did stroll over to have a brief look.

"And, of course, theoretical physics come in _really_ useful when I use Gertrude." chuckled Jack.

"You know theoretical physics?" asked Twilight, rather surprised.

"Got a doctorate in it. It's useful on the battlefield, as well as impressing ponies, and getting access to University resources, which I refer to as 'free stuff'."

Spike suppressed a snigger, and Twilight smiled slightly at this.

Jack put Gertrude back upstairs, in a little bed next to his own, before returning to the living room.

"So, is there anything you want to do?" asked Sheila.

"Yes, I'd like to have a look in the library." replied Twilight.

Sheila rose, and hopped out of the house, Twilight following. Jack went into the kitchen, and started preparing the tea, which consisted of a variety of plants and vegetables for himself and Sheila, oats and hay for Twilight, and some jems for Spike.

Meanwhile, Sheila was showing Twilight the largest library in Wipers. Twilight was, in short, impressed.

"There must be tens of thousands of books in here." said Twilight.

"The amount of books in here is actually in the hundreds of thousands, getting close to a million. I've taken a _lot_ of books out of here, and I've not even read that large a proportion of all the books they have here." stated Sheila.

Twilight headed off to the history section of the library, and selected a book about the condensed history of the Tsardom. Sheila bounced off to the medical section, and started reading a large medical journal.

* * *

That evening, after Twilight had finished reading the book and all had eaten tea, Twilight and Spike were sitting in the living room of Jack's house. Sheila was continuing reading the medical journal from the library, while Jack was smoking a rather elegant pipe and talking to Twilight and Spike.

All four were disturbed by the ringing of Jack's telephone. Jack got up to answer it, and saw that the telephone wasn't displaying a number. He answered it regardless, and remained quiet while the pony on the other end spoke. Jack put down the telephone without saying a word.

"Sheila, would you get Oz, please." requested Jack, in a rather serious tone.

Sheila put down the medical journal, and bounced off to collect Oz. Meanwhile, Jack put a grey double breasted jacket on, complete with scarf, opened his trunk, took out his .357 Magnum and a crowbar, and told Twilight and Spike that they were going with him on a walk when Oz arrived. Sheila and Oz arrived a few minutes later, Sheila going immediately back to her medical journal. Jack whispered something to Oz, and the latter's ears shot up.

"Really?" asked Oz.

Jack nodded, before he beckoned to Twilight and Spike to follow, which they did. Going down to the end of the street, Jack then lead the quartet down into the Wipers Underground.

"Why are we going down here?" asked Spike, rather curious.

"Now is not the time, Spike, nor is it the place." stated Oz.

The four of them continued to platform three, where Oz told them to wait, counting down while he looked at his watch.

"Five, four, three, two, one." muttered Oz.

A train arrived on cue, and Twilight and Spike were impressed.

"How did you do that?" asked Twilight.

"Oz knows every timetable for all of the public transport. He knows the location of all the secret passageways and tunnels. Oz knows _everything_ about Wipers, and, with the exception of Fell Hire Corner and some of the more shadowy areas, Oz knows everything that happens in Wipers on top of that." stated Jack.

The train left the station, and Oz led them down the line, following the train.

"Why didn't we take the train?" asked Twilight.

"Think of this as a game of hide-and-seek, just on a much larger and more dangerous level." replied Jack.

"Dangerous?"

"Somepony wants to kill you. Oz and I are getting you out of Wipers."

* * *

**A/N** Please rate and review, as I need the encouragement. More chapters on the way.


	2. Heading Northwards

Oz, Jack, Twilight and Spike proceeded through the underground in the near dark, moving along a walkway intended for maintenance workers lit by the occasional flickering light. Water could be heard dripping in the distance, and mould was growing on the wall.

"This is horrible." grumbled Twilight.

"I'm sorry that this ain't the best, but it's the best I could do to get you out of Wipers without being seen." replied Jack, sounding somewhat apologetic.

Silence returned to the group for a few minutes, until Oz's ears stood up.

"Eight-fifteen to the Cathedral via Fell Hire Corner's coming. Won't be for a few minutes yet, but we don't want to be standing 'ere when it goes by." stated Oz.

"Any suggestions as to how we might avoid that?" questioned Jack.

"Yeah. There's an abandoned station up ahead; a few hundred yards."

"Why was it abandoned?" asked Spike.

"Rarely used. Three people during the day, and two at night, on average for the six months before it closed. Although it was intended to serve more." replied Oz.

The quartet arrived on platform four shortly afterwards, and the eight-fifteen could be heard coming down the tunnel. Not soon after that, the train rattled past, a blur of almost imperceivable colours and light streaming from the windows, making a whooshing noise as it did so. A few passengers on the train thought they saw shadows glimpsed though the windows, but abandoned it quickly.

"Did you say that the train went to the Cathedral via Fell Hire Corner?" asked Jack.

"Yeah. Why?" replied Oz.

"Because Fell Hire Corner owes me a few favours. They could help us smuggle Princess Twilight out of Wipers."

"Fell Hire Corner?" asked Spike.

"Wiper's Italian Mafia district. Three types go there: those in the Mafia, those with a damn good reason, and those who are soon to die." answered Jack.

"Are you sure that you can get them to help?" questioned Twilight.

"There's a saying in Fell Hire Corner: 'You help me, we help you.', and I've helped them on several notable occasions." said Jack.

"Okay, it's beginning to look like a good idea." stated Oz.

"What's the quickest way of getting there?"

"Through Metro 2."

Oz almost walked into a wall before he groped for a light switch. Upon finding one, he pressed it, and the platform lights flickered insanely overhead for a few seconds, before becoming a steady source of light. The kangaroo led the quartet though the old, dusty station, occasionally turning new sets of lights on, and older ones off. Near the old ticket office, Oz opened a cleaner's cupboard, revealing a circular staircase leading down, deeper into the earth. Turning on the lights, Oz led the way, followed by Twilight, Spike, and then Jack, who shut the door.

When they reached the end of the staircase, the group found itself on a small, narrow platform. In contrast to the tunnels above them, Metro 2 was well lit, and wasn't showing any signs of damp or mould. A short distance away, a small electric train rested in a siding. The four animals went over to it. Jack and Oz looked at the controls, while Twilight and Spike took a seat. The controls were unfamiliar to Oz, who left them in the capable hands of Jack. Pulling out of the station, Oz gave Jack directions to Fell Hire Corner, activating the appropriate switches to adjust the points that would take them there.

"Why does Metro 2 exist?" asked Twilight.

"Simply put, to allow the evacuation of high ranking personnel from Wipers. There are entrances all over the city." replied Jack.

"Myrynion will neither deny nor confirm if it exists, and, technically, you were never here and never saw anything." stated Oz.

Quiet fell upon them, listening to the rattling of the train. After a while, Oz told Jack to stop at a station. After they had all disembarked, Oz took them up a set of stairs, which led to a ventilation unit. Pushing hard, Oz opened a cleverly hidden door.

Going out onto platform 5 of Fell Hire Corner, Jack led the quartet to the surface. There he was approached by a stallion in a sharp suit with an overbearing Italian accent. Jack quickly explained why he was there, and asked to see one of the Mafia bosses. His request was accepted, and the quintet went to one of the senior Mafia bosses.

Upon arriving at the boss's house, the stallion escorting the quartet left. Going inside, the group met with the Mafia boss Giovanni Depiro. He was a friendly pony, who was quite willing to help, considering Jack's previous history of helping the Mafia if and when he could. Giovanni said that he would go with them, as well as taking a couple of experienced Mafia assassins.

"Assassins?" asked Twilight, raising an eyebrow.

"Never underestimate an assassin. They can get in somewhere, kill their victim, or sometimes, victims, and get out alive. Possibly even with some useful information." replied Jack.

"When will we leave?" asked Spike.

"Now. As your not safe in Wipers, and maybe even the Tsardom, it's vital to get out quickly." replied Oz.

Giovanni summoned the two assassins, and the group of seven left. Working northwards, they entered a railway goods yard on the outskirts of Wipers. Although it wasn't as busy as it would have been during the day, the yard was still encountering a decent amount of traffic, most of it due for Wipers and district, or leaving the capital city.

Boarding an empty boxcar on a train bound for Grafton, near the boarder with Equestria, the group made themselves as comfortable as possible for the long journey ahead, while the diesel locomotive filled its fuel tank. After a concerning lurch forward, the occupants of the boxcar knew they were on their way, and there was nothing that they would be able to do until they got to the border.

Spike fell asleep quickly on the hard wooden floor, while the rest quietly discussed the immediate future.

"We will stay with Twilight until she is safely in Ponyville, as those who want her dead may strike before she leaves the Tsardom. However, she'll be safe there until we can start doing some investigation into who wants Twilight dead." stated Jack.

"The Mafia will go with her to Ponyville, and, as a gesture of goodwill, my assassins and I will remain there until the situation is over." said Giovanni.

"I should be fine in Ponyville by myself." stated Twilight.

"You do realise that they may follow us to Equestria, to Ponyville, to your house? If we're not there, you could end up killed, and this escape is for nothing." said the elder of the two assassins.

"They may have got there before us." mumbled Jack.

"Of course, this is part is nothing compared to the investigation. There'll prob'ly be a Court of Enquiry. The investigation could take weeks, months even, and get nowhere." grumbled Oz.

"The Mafia will also hold its own investigation. Two investigations could cover more ground more effectively than just one." stated Giovanni.

"Pity I didn't speak to the esteemed Herlock Sholmes and his admirer Dr Hotsam before we left. They would get the case done quicker than a Court of Enquiry could." Oz said, mournfully.

"No point complaining now. Anyway, we'll get off at Grafton, and proceed to the boarder from there. After crossing through the mountains, we can try to catch a train from there to Ponyville." said Jack.

"What is Grafton anyway?" questioned Twilight.

"Mining village. Supplies Wipers with iron and copper ores." replied Oz, in a tone that suggested that he had answered the question of a mental defective.

"We'll be arriving in Grafton in about eight hours, and I hope to start crossing through the mountains by dawn, so we should get some sleep. Especially you, Princess. You've had quite a day." stated Jack, messing around with his Magnum.

The boxcar fell silent, the only sound being the rattling of the train and the travellers' breathing. Soon, Jack was snoring quietly in a corner, dreaming of firing Gertrude at enemies of the state. Oz sat in a corner, watching the dark landscape pass by through a gap in the blanks of the boxcar. The Mafia were in a state of unrest, periodically sleeping before waking up because of the sound or movement of the train.

* * *

Twilight was also asleep, one of her wings covering Spike, who seemed content with the feathery cover. Both happily dreamed of Ponyville, before a shadowy, unidentifiable figure gave them dangerous glances.

Eight hours later, Twilight was woken by the train decelerating to a stop, brakes squeaking and couplings clinking. With the exception of Spike, the other members of the group were awake,. Oz, still sitting in the corner and looking outside, spoke to the group.

"We're at Grafton. Give it a few minutes, so that the driver and the engineer have the time to leave the train without noticing us." ordered the kangaroo.

After a few minutes, during which Twilight woke up Spike, Oz stood up and quietly opened a door, and got out of the boxcar, Jack following. Both kangaroos then helped the ponies inside the boxcar to the ground, due to a rather large drop.

Oz began leading the group towards the boarder, Jack at the rear, and the rest in-between the two kangaroos. The ponies were having difficulties seeing in the murky, pre-dawn light, with a few electric lamps in Grafton's railway yard to aid their sight, although Oz and Jack were fine.

"How are you able to see where we're going?" asked Twilight.

"You should know. Kangaroos are nocturnal." replied Linford.

"What's the time?" questioned Spike.

Oz looked at his watch.

"Ten to five the morning, Wipers Mean Time. The mountains are about ten miles from here, and a further ten mile trek through them to get to Equestria." replied the manservant.

"Why don't we wait until morning?" asked Twilight.

"Tatics. Why sit around here for an hour, maybe two and let an assassin catch up with us? The most important thing right now is to get you away from Myrynion." answered Jack.

"On top of that, the weather in the mountains is due to take a turn for the worst. This assassin did time his attempt well." stated Oz.

"Was it the assassin who called you last evening?" questioned Spike.

"Nah, it was one of the other kangaroos in the Tsar's private army. He sounded quite desperate and, well, he's not the type to make this up." replied Jack.

"He could still be the assassin, attempting to divert the blame from himself. We do something similar, when we need to assassinate someone. It allows them to get their affairs in order." stated Giovanni.

"No, he'd know I'd try to get Twilight away from Myrynion, so he would be waiting for us, which is why it was good that we enlisted your help. He knows that I'd discipline him rather harshly if he did anything like this, which would quite literally be the death of him."

"Which means that he's probably innocent. Return to start. Do not pass go; do not collect two hundred pounds."

The group trudged on, with dark colours melting away as orange light light came from the horizon in ever increasing amounts, revealing the green colours of the hills and hedges. In the distance, getting larger with each step, was the Lepton Mountain Range, bordering both Myrynion and Equestria.

"Can't tell from this distance, but the pass seems clear." stated Oz.

"Now you've said that, it won't be." said Jack.

Each step closer confirming what Oz had stated. Soon, standing at the end of the pass, Oz led, rather than rub the fact he was correct into Jack's face. Thick snow drifts covered the mountain peaks, extending down a concerning distance halfway down the slopes. There was no life there, amongst the snow, ice, and rock.

Six miles through, the group encountered a large snowstorm. It started off as a barely noticeable breeze, increasing to a strong, cold, blizzard, howling and shrieking around the travellers, whipping them with snow and small stones from the slopes of the mountains. Spike grew weak quickly, and Twilight was not soon behind. Even the three ponies from the Wipers Mafia slowed and were noticeably shivering. Oz buttoned up his shirt, and blew onto his paws to keep them warm, sometimes hopping on the spot. Jack, being the hard-boiled sergeant, not to mention the fact that he had a scarf, ploughed onwards, barely noticing the plight of his comrades in the poor visibility.

"Jack! We cannot go on much longer. Twilight and Spike will catch their deaths here. We cannot let that happen!" shouted Oz.

"Then where shall we go?" asked the sergeant.

"Daemarrel research facility".

"Daemarrel? That place closed down nearly three decades ago. On top of that, the place is supposed to be haunted, which caused it to be abandoned."

"Then the princess dies of the cold."

"How far do we need to go to get to Daemarrel?"

"Hundred and fifty yards on the right is the old entrance. I don't know if we can still get in through there, though."

"Right. You take care of the princess and Spike, I'll see if the entrance is still alright."

Oz nodded, before he tended to Twilight and Spike. Jack ploughed on through through the blizzard, reaching the entrance of Daemarrel after a few minutes. He tried opening the door, but found that it required a pass-code that he did not have After a few failed attempts to open the door with his crowbar, Jack returned to Oz to help him tend to Twilight.

"Door seems alright, but the blasted thing needs a pass-code that I don't have." stated the sergeant.

"Help me get Twilight and Spike there, and I'll try and open it." said Oz.

Jack slung Twilight over his shoulder, and hopped his way towards the entrance of Daemarrel. Oz picked up Spike, and followed Jack. The Mafia wasn't far behind. On the threshold of the research laboratory, Oz put Spike down, and entered a code into a panel by the door. After a few seconds, the locks on the door were released, and Oz opened the door. A dark corridor greeted them. Oz turned on the lights, and bounced down the corridor. Jack put Twilight down, who stumbled down the corridor after Oz. Spike, then the Mafia, and finally Jack, went into Daemarrel. Jack closed the door behind him, activating two automated security turrets above the door in the process.

Oz quickly found a map of the complex, and tore it off the wall. He studied it for a few moments, before shoving it in a pocket. Going through a complex, maze-like system of passages, the group arrived in the canteen. Jack found some crates in a storeroom, and cracked them open with his crowbar, finding several tins of out-of-date peaches, as well as some Big Soup, and some spam. Taking these into the canteen, Jack opened the tins of peaches, and offered them to the rest. These were greatly received, despite the fact that they were out-of-date. Jack then asked if anyone else wanted any spam, which was declined by the others. Jack, hoisting himself onto a work-surface, opened a tin of spam, put the lump of pink precooked meat product on a broken plate, and started eating it with a knife pillaged from a cutlery drawer.

"Why?" asked Twilight, shaking her head.

"He'll eat anything, provided it's possible for him to digest it." replied Oz.

"But...spam? On a broken plate? With a knife?"

"I'll tell you something." stated Jack, waving a slice of spam on the end of the knife at Twilight.

"You're crazy." claimed Twilight.

"I didn't have anything to say, I just wanted to wave some spam at you. And you're not the first to claim I'm mad, by the way."

"We are getting off the point, here. How long could the storm outside last?" asked Giovanni.

"Days, maybe weeks." answered Oz.

"Save a can of spam for me, Jack."

Jack finished off his spam, and hunted in the storeroom for some alcohol that he could drink. Settling on the large bottle of Captain Morgan's Rum, Jack returned to the canteen.

"As we may be stuck here for a few days, we'll have to sleep in the old dormitories, which I am not going to enjoy, considering the reputation of this place." stated Jack.

"What's the reputation?" questioned Spike.

"That the place is damn awful. It was abandoned by the personnel after a heap load of unexplainable stuff occurred, spooking the ponies working here."

"What kind of stuff."

"Dunno. Those who escaped refuse to talk about this place, or even mention the name except in hushed voices or whispers. Popular opinion is that the place is haunted."

"It was abandoned twenty-seven years ago. Anything here would have died or moved on." claimed Giovanni.

"I hope you're right." said Jack.

"This reminds me of when I went to a ruined castle in the Everfree forest, but it turned out to be one of my friends who was causing all the trouble." stated Twilight.

After a few minutes of silence, Oz spoke.

"I'm going to the security office. I'll turn on the automated turrets, so we don't have any...unwelcome visitors." stated the kangaroo.

"Won't be much good against any ghosts, if this place has them." said Giovanni

Oz left, followed by Jack, who decided that it would be safer for Oz if someone was with him. Partway to the security office, Jack thought he heard something whispering to him, along with the feeling that something sentient was standing behind him. Turning around, nothing was there, whispers resonating on the walls. Jack hurried along after Oz.

Giovanni, the two assassins, Twilight, and Spike were in the canteen, playing a game of cards, talking as they did so. Spike was losing rather badly, and he gave up. The baby dragon decided that he would look through the nearby storeroom for some jems, although this didn't result in anything. Spike returned to watch the game of cards, joining in the conversation every so often.

The game soon dissolved, and Twilight dozed. Giovanni found a can of spam, and began eating from it, making him incredibly sick in the process. The two assassins smoked cigarettes in a corner, alert for anything that might have any hostile attitudes to Twilight. Spike sat down next to Twilight, and began to think about who might want to kill Twilight.

In the security office, Oz was making a video call to Orpheus, and explaining why he had disappeared with Jack, Twilight and Spike.

"I'm sorry I left in a hurry, sir, but I did it in the best interests of Princess Twilight." apologised the manservant.

"I understand. You did what was needed of you. However, I.." said Orpheus, as he broke off his sentence.

"What's up, sir?" asked Oz.

On the screen he was receiving Oz's message, Orpheus could clearly see an enormous, hulking, _indescribably horrible_ being approach Oz from behind. However, a shot rang out, blood gushed out from the beast's head, followed by Jack putting his Magnum back in his pocket.

"Thanks, Jack." stuttered Oz.

"No worries, mate. That thing was going to kill you. And on top of that, I had a Chekhov 's Gun to fulfil." said Jack.

"Anyway, sir, what where you saying?"

"That I have no idea who would do this. I'll get Mr Sholmes on the case." said Orpheus

"Good decision, sir." stated Jack.

"And, sir, Fell Hire Corner will be running their own investigation." added Oz.

"You got Fell Hire Corner into this?" asked the Tsar.

"We did, sir, to get some more protection for Princess Twilight."

"Why didn't you get my private army on the case instead?"

"It was Jack's idea when we were going through the Underground, after a train to Fell Hire Corner went past."

"I've got other things to attend to, but thank you, none-the-less."

The video call ended.

"You know, Oz, it may not have been a good idea bringing Twilight in here." claimed Jack.

"That may be true." replied Oz.

"Indeed..."

* * *

Several hours past. The blizzard outside showed no signs of ending shortly, and Oz and Jack were watching the feed from the security cameras in the security office. Little happened in the canteen, where the Mafia, Twilight, and Spike remained, and nothing happened elsewhere. However, something on one of the screens caught Jack's eye.

"Oy, Oz, take a look at this." exclaimed the sergeant.

Oz went over to the monitor, where the two kangaroos could see a bright blue Earth pony shadow charge down the corridor towards the canteen, before it vanished into thin air.

"Bugger. This place really is haunted." stated Oz.

Meanwhile, in the canteen, the two Mafia assassins were blasting away at half glimpsed shadows with guns they had previously concealed on their bodies. Giovanni was chipping in with a hand-cannon. The shadows seemed immune to the damage, getting ever closer to the corner where the assassins, Giovanni, Twilight, and Spike were clustered. As the shadows closed in, they faded into nothing, and left the ponies. Twilight was shaken by this experience, despite the encounter with King Sombra outside the Crystal Empire. The others were more concerned than shaken, although all five were regretting coming into Daemarrel.

Back in the security office, Oz was curious about a particular reading from the console.

"Jack, this thing's saying that there's a turbine hall fire." said the manservant

"And? What's significant about that?" asked the stronger kangaroo.

"This place doesn't have a turbine hall."

"Where does this place get it's power from?"

"Two emergency generators in the basement, which has been underwater since before this place was evacuated, or from the Lorus Nuclear Plants."

"Those plants aren't running anymore, except for maintenance."

"Tell me about it."

"Wasn't this place wired up to the Fusion Reactor.?"

"Why? It was abandoned before the Fusion Reactor was built."

"Which Lorus was this place served by?"

"Err, the sixth."

"Riven'yat? Damn. But that place completely disappeared at about the same time that this started being haunted."

"We'd best get out of here."

The two kangaroos jumped their way to the canteen, where they informed the others of what they were going to do.

"There is a blizzard outside. How are we supposed to leave?" asked Giovanni.

"I could try teleporting us out of here." stated Twilight.

"Worth a shot." claimed Jack.

Twilight stated her teleportation spell, which encompassed all present. After a few moments, they appeared on the Equestrian side of the Lepton Mountains. Twilight crumpled to the ground, completely exhausted by the teleportation spell. Jack hoisted her onto his shoulder, and the group moved northwards.

"So, where are we going?" asked Spike.

"Anywhere that's got a train station. Twilight's an awful lot heavier than Gertrude, and I cannot carry her the hundred miles between here and Ponyville." replied Jack.

Jack took this opportunity to take a swig from his bottle of rum, belching afterwards.

"Appleloosa's not far from here; should be a couple of miles. We can catch the train from there." said Oz.

"Oz, you know a lot about the geography of places. How do you do it?" asked Giovanni.

"Not sure exactly. But it has something to do with being the Tsar's manservant."

Jack laughed, a deep, rolling laugh.

"Companies would pay masses for your skills, Oz." said the sergeant

"But I wouldn't leave Orpheus."

"Your loyalty is commendable." stated Giovanni.

"Thank you." said Oz.

The group continued to Appleloosa, in the early afternoon sun. But they still had a long way to go before they could all get home.


	3. Return to Wipers

After a few miles of walking though desert in the afternoon, the group arrived at Appaloosa, drawing a few suspicious glances from residents. Oz discreetly approached a porter at the station about the next train to Ponyville, to which the response was that it would arrive in about five minutes.

"That was timed well." Giovanni stated the obvious.

"You don't say." replied Jack and Oz, in unison.

The train arrived a few minutes later, a couple of minutes ahead of timetabling. The group boarded it, and Jack deposited Twilight on a seat, letting out a sigh of relief. At this point in time, Twilight had almost recovered from her teleportation spell, although she still looked drained. Several minutes afterwards, the train left the station, and the group settled down for the several hour long journey. Jack looked out the window, his two black eyes searching the landscape. Oz and Giovanni talked between themselves, quietly discussing the entire situation and, in particular, Daemarrel. The two assassins were smoking ten cigarettes at once, a cloud of smoke hanging above their heads.

The train arrived at Ponyville that evening. The group was feeling rather hungry, with Jack offering a tin of spam, put in a pocket before they left Daemarrel, to his comrades, but ate all of it when the spam was turned down by the rest of the group. At this time of day, most of the town's inhabitants were indoors, and getting Twilight and Spike to the library wasn't a difficult task. Once inside, Twilight asked Spike to fetch some food, who did so, and this was distributed between the group, Jack understandably having the least.

"Twilight, is it possible for Jack and I to stay overnight, before we go back to Wipers?" asked Oz, taking a look at the time.

Twilight thought quickly, before replying.

"That should be fine."

"Not to mention, if somepony is desperate to kill you, it would provide an additional incentive to keep away, at least for tonight." added Giovanni.

* * *

"Right then, Twilight, where do you want us?" asked Jack.

At around two o'clock the following morning, Jack was awoken by the sound of the window opening. Taking no chances, he cocked his Magnum, and fired at the thing now coming in the window. Nothing happened, so Jack fired again. Again, nothing happened, which surprised him, considering he modified the Magnum himself to fire forty-five calibre rounds, and two shots should have killed pretty much anything due to his close proximity to the window. Twilight, Giovanni, and Oz entered the room, and turned on the light.

"We heard gunshots." said Oz.

Hanging in the window was a broken tree branch, which had been held onto the library by a strip of bark, and had hit the window enough times to cause it to open.

"Well, that explains the tapping noise last night. Twilight, you might want to invest in some better catches for your windows." said Jack, looking at two, forty-five calibre, holes in the branch.

"No more shooting for you tonight, Jack. I already think you may be a little bit too trigger happy." stated Giovanni.

Jack put his Magnum away, and the other tree disappeared, Twilight shoving the tree branch outside and closing the window before she left.

* * *

"Was wondering why it didn't die." muttered Jack to himself.

After daybreak, Oz and Jack left Twilight and Spike in the care of Giovanni and the two assassins, before getting a train to Appleloosa. On the journey, both kangaroos kept quiet, Jack feeling bad about being fooled by a branch, and Oz realising what was going through Jack's mind, and decided on silence as being the best option.

Upon arriving at Appleloosa, Oz asked the porter at the station if the Lepton pass was clear.

"Wasn't when I got up today, but you might possibly be able to get through now, although I wouldn't recommend it." answered the porter.

"Thanks mate." said Oz, before hopping in the direction of the pass, Jack following.

When they arrived, the blizzard had eased from the day before, although it was still going strong. Silently agreeing that they wouldn't be able to pass through, Oz and Jack returned to Appleloosa, and stayed there until the following day, when they tried to get through the pass again. This had the same result as the previous day, and the two returned to Appleloosa.

The day after that, the two kangaroos tried again, and found that the blizzard had decreased to stiff breeze, and decided to risk going through. Oz started having difficulty in moving forward shortly after entering the pass, although Jack didn't, and helped Oz get through the harder parts, most of which were near the Equestrian side. Both remained quiet, until they passed Daemarrel.

"Jack, I had a look at the last provisions log while we were in Daemarrel, and I found something rather interesting." said Oz, in a voice loud enough to be heard by Jack.

"What's that?" questioned Jack in an equally loud voice.

"There are five thousand cases of alcohol – beer, wines, and other spirits – in an unflooded cellar."

"Why don't you command Orpheus' private army to retrieve it all. You do have the authority to order us about."

"You've got the respect of the kangaroos do do this of your own accord. Why ask me to sanction it?"

"I've got authority, yes. But you've got clearance and more authority than I do. Officially, I don't have the clearance to get into Daemarrel unless I get ordered or I bribe the right official."

When the two reached Grafton, hours later, Oz went into an office building, and asked to use a fax machine. His request was accepted, and Oz wrote a short message, ordering Orpheus' private army to Grafton, signed it, and added his personal security code, substituting the first sixteen digits with crosses in the process, although he left the last four untouched. This was then faxed to the Kangaroo Barracks, which surprised the kangaroo in charge of communications.

He left his small group of computers, which were performing a Denial of Service attack on a CCTV server for the Wiper's City Watch, and approached the camp captain.

"Sir, orders from Oz. He wants up up at Grafton." stated the kangaroo.

* * *

The captain checked the orders, confirmed that these orders came from Oz, before assembling the men.

Two hours later, after taking an express train, a decent portion of the Tsar's private army was in Grafton. The captain approached Oz, and asked what they were doing in Grafton.

"We're on a rescue mission." replied Oz.

"What kind of rescue mission. Couldn't the emergency services here deal with it?" questioned the captain

"This is a special rescue mission. We're going into Daemarrel, to rescue some booze."

The captain chuckled.

"This is my kind of rescue. Come on, lads."

"Captain, not just yet. There are several thousand cases of booze in there, so we may want some vans and trucks to carry it all."

The captain then ordered a quintet of kangaroos to purloin some vans, and a small bus, from a nearby rental agency, with nothing but their wits, and their military issue crowbars, to approach this task. While they were doing this, Oz approached the chaplain, Frere Tuck.

"What are you doing here?" asked Oz.

"Haven't been out of the base in a while, and I thought I might be able to provide some assistance to our task."

"I just didn't picture you going into Daemarrel and stealing booze."

"It is for the greater good. Nobody is deprived by it's loss."

"Point taken."

The trucks and bus arrived a minute or so later, and these were quickly boarded, before they headed towards Daemarrel. Oz and Jack expected a few problems would occur, mainly with the spirits still lingering around, but not from the two auto-turrets above the door to the facility. This caused the kangaroos some issues when they initially approached. Oz, being braze, made a dash for the door, shots grazing his skin. Upon punching in the code, the turrets disabled themselves, and the kangaroos entered.

Oz lead the way, being that he still had the map, and took the army to the cellar where the alcohol was stored. Turning on the lights, which illuminated in rows, starting close to the entrance, the amount of alcohol present was surprising.

"Bloody Hell." muttered the captain.

"How much booze did the scientists here need?" asked one of the privates.

"Obviously a lot, now get to work, all of you."

Soon, a line of the kangaroos started hopping towards the trucks, each carrying one or two cases of the precious liquid, carrying it most organised manner to the waiting trucks. However, the amount of space in the trucks soon ran out.

"Sir, there's no more room in the trucks." said Jack.

The captain promptly ordered two corporals and four privates to take the trucks to Grafton, unload them at the station, and the privates return with the empty trucks, the two corporals guarding the alcohol. This was done, and the privates returned about half and hour later, allowing more alcohol to be taken. The trucks were taken back to the Grafton train station several times before Daemarrel's cellars were drained.

As the last crates were taken away, the dead body of an unfortunate pony was discovered.. Tuck hurried over, and performed post-mortem Last Rights. After Tuck had finished, a screaming howl was heard throughout Daemarrel, as one of it's residents moved on, which startled most of the kangaroos present. The kangaroos, knowing that they had no reason to linger, left, taking what was left of the alcohol.

When the kangaroos arrived in Grafton, the captain commandeered a local goods train that had just finished unloading.

"We're commandeering this train." stated the captain.

"On who's authority?" asked the driver, in a rather insulting way.

At this point, each of the kangaroos present, with the exception of Oz, pulled out their military issue crowbars. The train driver looked at the seventy-eight kangaroos holding crowbars, and realised that seventy eight crowbars on one target, or three, if he included the engineer and the guard, caused an awful lot of pain. The driver swallowed, loudly.

"That's good enough authority for me." said the driver.

* * *

"Right then. Get this stuff loaded."

In Wipers, after their cargo had been unloaded, the kangaroos began distributing the alcohol between themselves. Frere Tuck anded up with all of the Port, and also some of the sherry. The engineer medics took the Bourbon, as well as the rest of the sherry. The captain, the two lieutenants present, and Jack, took the champagne, most of the white wine, and also helped themselves to a portion of the rum. The rest of the alcohol was divided amongst the rest.

Jack carried his cases home, and, although he had some difficulty in opening the door, was able to safely deposit his personal haul in the living room. However, Sheila was not impressed at the amount of time he'd been out, and, thinking him a burglar, had taken her shotgun out of her trunk while Jack was opening the door. This shotgun was pointing it at Jack, who turned around to be confronted by a two barrelled shotgun and a rather startled Sheila.

"What the hell is this?" asked Jack.

"I thought you were a burglar. Where were you, anyway?" Sheila questioning in reply.

"Getting the princess out of Myrynion. Ran into a bit of trouble going through the Lepton Pass."

"And the crates?"

"Taken from Daemarrel. Couldn't believe the amount of booze that was in there. Fancy some white wine, or would you prefer champagne?"

"Neither at the moment."

"I expected you to be up there, helping us get this booze out of Daemarrel."

"I'm on leave."

Jack shrugged. Sheila continued.

"And that explains why Herlock Sholmes was here earlier. He wanted to ask you some questions."

"Where is he?"

"He's gone to Equestria. But Hotsam is still around, following up a few leads. She'll probably ask the same questions as Sholmes."

"Hotsam's a girl?"

Sheila nodded.

"Damn. The Ypres Times can't even get her gender right. And there I was, assuming that they would. So much for the accuracy of secondary sources."

* * *

**A/N** Sorry for not updating sooner, I've had other commitments in the form of mock exams. And the Ypres Times is a pun on the World War One newspaper, the Wipers Times, produced by the Sherwood Foresters. Please review.


End file.
